Thoughts of a Dying Atheist

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and then satan said “here, have feelings”

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If you ever think you’ve made bad decisions just remember what it must feel like to be one of the 12 publishers that turned down Harry Potter.

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idk why everyone says “when pigs fly” when police helicopters are a thing that exist

(via rick-wrong)

I think we’ve officially reached that annoying time in the year where it’s sweater weather in the morning, but by midday, if you wear a sweater, you die from heatstroke.

(Source: ididntasktobemade, via rick-wrong)


i’m trying to hang out with some aliens as soon as possible

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Fuck up your sleeping schedule with me so i know it’s real. 

(Source: pugnacious-behavior, via coloradokushhh)




Human: “HAHAHA Animals are so dumb!”

*goes to war with its own species, uses up all of its resources, destroys its own environment, pollutes its own air and water*

Animal: *licks its own asshole*

human: *licks someone else’s asshole and calls it sex*

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Some snaps from my Harry Potter Reread - Part 1 [Part 2]

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the slytherins making a drinking game where they take a shot every time draco malfoy talks about harry potter

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